Doing Literary Nothing

An email arrived in my inbox this morning, and in the email was a fantastic life-enhancing tip that I simply had to share — because you too can lose pounds and pounds by doing literary nothing!

And the best thing of all is that it really works! I have been doing literary nothing for years now, and can’t even begin to calculate the number of pounds that I have lost as a result.

Literary Nothing
Literary Nothing


John Yeoman

Well, Will, I was offered a PhD today for my Life Experience. No study. No viva. Just a summary of What I Have Learned From Life. The cost? A trifling $500. I was quite literarily tempted. After all, it had cost me £30,000, all told, to get my PhD in creative writing. What a waste! I noted it down to add to my list of What I Have Learned From Life.


A trifling $500, eh…? As for PhDs in creative writing, it really depends on what you want to do with them, what you want out of them, and how good the supervision is. I’m sure in some cases they are a way of losing pound after pound by doing literary nothing, whilst in some cases they are worthwhile.

My own PhD, incidentally, was in philosophy, over at Staffordshire University (and – due to some weird administrative glitch – was astonishingly cheap. A trifling £400 – £500 a year part time). It was a superb place to study, and the supervision was hugely impressive.

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